Sunday, May 2, 2010

On "Processing"

My last couple of posts were rather hysterical. Not as in “funny”. They were written by a hysterical woman who had been head-spinning for about 72 hours, careening between sobbing and trying to maintain some semblance of sanity in order to function for normal daily tasks.

I know from experience that during such emotionally dangerous times the important thing for me to do is: as little as possible. When emotional quicksand threatens to suck me under, I have to remember to quit fighting it and simply let it all go. I know better than to fight against fear and depression. The only way out of either of those things for me is through them. I have learned that I can pass through life's trials a lot easier if I surrender to the experience and go ahead and feel depressed and/or afraid.

Eventually I get tired of being miserable, pick up my mat and move on. How long that takes varies, depending on the complexity and significance of the problem. I'm not expecting this emotional hurricane to be over any time soon. Right now I'm simply hanging on, cherishing every second of each of the the respites of calm that come along.

The good news on the writing front is that, even though I may not be writing stories right now, stories are writing themselves in my heart. I may not be typing them out, but they are imprinting themselves on my psyche, so when the time comes to write them down, the story will already be there.

That's how most of my stories have come about. Every one of my novels (except for the mysteries which I plot out carefully) has seemed to emerge whole. It's as though they are “born”, not written. A story somehow embeds itself in my heart where I cherish it and contemplate its possibilities. After a while the novel is ready to be born so it can be shared with others. That's when the typing frenzy starts. I may not be typing much these days. But I'm certain there's a lot of story-building going on in me.

I don't know when it will happen, but I'm pretty sure that at some point in the very near future, there's going to be a whole lot of typin' going on. I think my psyche is ramping up for that. Hence, the felt need to clean out my writing folders (doing all that annoying formatting and cover-designing, etc. to get them posted on the Internet where readers might happen across them), clean my house and and get my head on straight.

Considering what a nut-job I have been lately, that may prove to be no small task.


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