Letting Go of a Story and Moving On

I had a bit of a revelation recently -- a new understanding of one of the things I do that impede my writing progress. Like many writers,  I have a hard time letting go of a story.  Typically, I have three stories in progress at any given time, sometimes more, but always at least three. One is in the preliminary drafting stages, one is in the "middle" rewriting stages, and one is in the final polishing stage. For the last few years, I have been publishing one story in December and one in June every year. My inventory is dwindling, so I may not be able to keep up at that pace forever, but it's been my practice up until now.

I have found that whenever a story gets to the point that I think it's ready to launch, I find a million things I need to do besides write new content, or do the final edits, or make a cover or write the promotional blurbs for the e-book. I allow myself to succumb to the writer's biggest enemy, the Internal Voice that says "I suck," "I am out of decent story ideas," "It is stupid of me to commit so much time and energy to this process -- for what????"

I sometimes let weeks pass without writing anything new or making any progress towards readying my story for publication. I read a lot, and rationalize that writers need to read. (We do, but we also need to actually sit down and freaking write something every once in a while.) I clean my house, organize closets and clean out drawers.  I do about anything I can think of to avoid putting my butt in my chair, my computer in my lap and my heart into my craft.

Then the day comes when I know in my bones that I'm ready to let my story go.  I upload it to Smashwords, and wait breathlessly until it has gone through the conversion and vetting processes, and been accepted into the premium catalog. I have a small moment of celebration, and hope in that secret place in my heart that this story will be "the One."

Almost immediately thereafter, my creative sap starts to rise. Within days, I will inevitably begin a new story or get busy editing (or rewriting) a WIP, often I do both.

I produced hardly any usable new content between September and December 2012, because I was dragging my feet about publishing  Home in Indiana.  Almost as soon as I uploaded it and finally got the cover to pass the vetting process, I came up with a new story idea. On December 22, I had my first 5000 word day in months. I am back in the saddle and excited about the new stories in the pipeline.

I'm back in the groove and happy as if I had good sense. 

Writer's Toolkit: Inspiration to Perservere

 Barbara O'Neal wrote a while ago on Writer Unboxed about a poem that inspired her to persevere with her writing.  The poem is: On Leaving Mt. Baldy.

As is the way of all poetry, a different phrase jumped out at me:

I came down from the mountain after many years of rigorous practice.

I left my robes hanging on a peg in the room where I had sat so long and slept so little.

I finally understood that I had no gift for Spiritual Matters.

And then the poet enters the traffic on the Santa Monica freeway and drives off (or, probably more accurately, creeps along in stop-and-go traffic) toward L.A.

Practice of any discipline (spiritual, artistic or otherwise) should not be an escape from Real Life. If that's what the artist is trying to do, she's headed for trouble. Discipline should support and enhance the practitioner's real life.

Maybe getting in that line of traffic is a kind of discipline: the discipline of showing up and living in the moment, in the Real World, not on some mountaintop retreat. 

My Journey as a writer may not be a mountain top experience (at least not often). It's more often a matter of sucking exhaust and hoping I might soon go fast enough to turn on the A/C.  But, it's my Journey, and I'll take it wherever it leads me.

Back in Business

I was planning to take a break from writing, because I was out of things to say and kind of bored with it. That break didn't last too long!

I wasn't trying to think of new subjects to write about, because I was actually looking forward to changing up my routine. In an effort to think of other creative things I might want to to,  I intentionally paid more attention to the ideas that bubble up, usually in the wee hours of the morning when I'm awake but it's too early to get up.

I didn't find myself longing to learn to play the tuba or take up weaving.  Instead, themes run through my head. Rough ideas tumble around and are rubbed smooth by bouncing off one another. Characters emerge, dimly at first, and then they gradually come into focus. These characters, with this theme? No! Those other characters are better for that theme.

I sit up and jot down notes (that I can occasionally actually read in the light of day). Notes become character sketches. A very general and tentative outline provides a place to start. I put it away for another day.

A few weeks later, I randomly start typing. The narrator's voice is amazing. It's a different voice than I've used before. A male narrator.  My narrator has always been me, even when the POV character is male. This narrator has a voice of his own. Right now I'm almost thirty pages into the first draft and I still don't know his name, but his voice is getting stronger with every paragraph I write.

Stale? Bored? Burnt out? Blocked?

Not any more!

I'm back in business.

But, I'm going to take my time with this one. It's going to be tricky.

Writing Strong Men

As my last few Reflections have indicated, I've been reconsidering my platform and my target audience. I have always focused on the fact that I write about strong women for a primarily female audience. My main characters are usually strong women.

It dawned on me recently that I also write about strong men. It takes a strong man to love a strong women. In a good relationship, each of them is stronger for their mutual love and support -- and my characters tend to have good relationships.

My male characters are all over the map in terms of professions and backgrounds. With the exception of Spoleto, which includes gay and bi-sexual male characters, my male characters are all heterosexual and very masculine. Most of them are veterans. All of them are tough in various respects. They don't take any crap from anyone -- including their womenfolk (who don't take crap from them, either).  They are respectful of women and children, but they demand respect in return.

I like men. In fact, in many ways, I have always related more to men than to a lot of women. (I understand that is not uncommon for the oldest girl in a family with no sons.) I like the way traditional "manly" men interact with one another and with women. They pull no punches: they'll hit you directly in the face instead of stabbing you in the back. I like the fact that you always know where you stand with a man like that.  When they don't like you you know it, and you'd do well to steer clear. But, when they love you, they can make your toes tingle.

The bottom line is I write about the kind of woman I'd like to be and the kind of men I'd like to be with.

So, I guess basically  I'm fantasizing in public.  Should I be embarrassed?

What Am I Really Up To?

I've been pondering this question for a few weeks. Originally, my plan was simply to write for the sheer joy of writing. When I started making a little money, I veered slightly in the direction of trying to write stories I thought might be commercial. I like those stories less than all of the others, even the early ones where I had no clue what I was doing.

Someone recently suggested that I focus on writing a series in a particular genre, because that's where the money is.

That comment brought me up short, for two reasons. One, I don't like to write books that I wouldn't read. I'm not a fan of series books. I read Jean Auel's Earth's Children and I'm hooked on Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, but I think those are the only two series I have ever started were I read more than two of the books. For me, the a huge joy in reading is encountering new and interesting characters. I thought first Harry Potter book was splendid, with delightful new vocabulary and fascinating characters on every page.  I read the second one, and quit.

Having tried it, I find that I do not like series writing, and I do not see myself writing a whole lot of books about one character. (Although I do want to have Ray Bailey meet Bev Deller again sometime, somewhere, somehow....)  I can't stick to one genre either. I like to write stories about whatever the character's life involves. It may be romance or mystery or straight up literary fiction. I tried fantasy and I'm pretty proud of Merlin's Daughters. I'm not burning to do it again; however, I do not rule it out because I want to allow myself the freedom to write in that genre if I encounter a character who needs to travel to other realms for some reason.

The second thing that made me pause, was the fact that my heart immediately responded vehemently: "But I'm not doing this for the money!"  Which caused me to ask myself why I shifted to writing stories I though had more commercial value.  My answer is that at the time I thought it was worth a shot. I really like Bev and I may use her again, but that will only happen if my heart calls me to do so.

I don't want to limit myself in any way as to my choice of genre, subject matter or character. I want to write about what my soul needs to say.  If that means I don't make a lot of money, so be it.

The paradox, I believe, is that if I let my heart write the stories, they'll be better. Consequently, they may be potentially more appealing to readers. Money, if there is to be any, can only be an after-the-fact by-product of the process of writing for me. My focus must remain on letting my Muse control what I write.

(Fortunately, I have a day job that pays the bills.)

What I write about

Lately, I've noticed that the underlying themes of my stories is changing a little.

The first several novels I wrote dealt with the following kinds of themes:

• What happens when a character's life implodes without warning
• Dealing with the death or disablement of a parent
• Dealing with divorce 
• Dealing with an empty nest
• Falling in or out of love at an inconvenient time and/or with an inconvenient partner

In my last couple of stories some new theme have emerged:

• Dreaming a new Dream
• Living life according to your own rules
• Rubbing up against social norms

It's pretty clear to me by now that my main audience for my stories is my conscious mind. Since my uptight, rule-bound waking self too-often ignores and/or dismisses the longings of my heart, my subconscious has found an interesting route for communicating with me. I have always known that my novels somehow tracked along with my life. In many ways, some of them have been kind of wordy versions of the game of "what if".

I've gone threw a season when my life became upended, smashed and scattered at my feet. I have dealt with it better than I thought I could. (Thanks to the stories that I wrote just before and during that period, along with the support of friends.)  Now, I seem to be ready to put Humpty back together again. In order to do that I have to figure out what kind of person I want to be in the these last seasons of my life.

First and foremost, I already have embraced the title of Author. Finally. After avoiding it for decades, I've seized it, claimed it and owned it as something that should have belonged to me for a long time, but for the paralyzing combination of fear and stubbornness. Whatever else I do, I will write.

I also seem to be playing with the idea of accepting the fact that I play by my own rules. I have always behaved in a very conventional and even somewhat conservative manner. I was the stereotypical Good Girl from the outside, but I have always been totally free in my intellectual and spiritual contemplation.  I'm rethinking some of that. I find myself less and less likely to behave in the "conventional" manner for the sake of appearances or to keep other people happy. I want to be one of those old ladies that make people smile behind their hands.

My writing is guiding me in a new direction where I will dream new dreams and try a new way of living.

Let's see where that goes, shall we?

Happy New Year

I don't know where the past year went!  It was a busy and productive year for me. I'm grateful to my readers and fellow authors who've given me so much encouragement along the way.

2012 is starting out with my back up against a wall as far as this blog goes. I typically write my blog posts and book reviews weeks in advance.  This fall I spent so much time writing new fiction and editing various works in progress, I got behind in writing blog posts, especially book reviews (mainly because I don't really like writing book reviews).  I love to say "hey, this is great, read it!"  I don't like critiquing the story.  I will continue to write reviews occasionally, because I think it's good for me to focus on what I like and don't like in other authors' work, with an eye towards avoiding pitfalls in my own writing. (It could happen.)  I don't know if I'll be able to keep up the pace of one a week, however. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself about the blogging in order to free up as much time as possible for writing fiction.

In any case, today is the dawn of a new year, which I hope will bring with it new characters (both those who spring from my own imagination and those I read about in works by other writers) who will take me on new adventures.

I'd love it if you would come along. 

Proofing and Editing

Recently, I have been immersing myself in reading indie eBooks. More often than not, I have been pleasantly surprised and, occasionally, blown away by the quality of the stories.

The quality of the editing has been spotty.  I know that typos are one of the most frequent criticisms of my eBooks. I have an eagle eye when it comes to spotting typos in other work of others. It is extremely hard for me to proof my own work. I let my stories lie fallow for months between when I finish a draft and when I proof it, and I do that two or three (or sometimes more) times before I publish it .... and there are still typos and formatting issues in my stories!  I can't tell you how much that frustrates me!!!

So, when I'm reading other indie authors' work, I try not to get too caught up with the formatting, punctuation and spelling.  I try. But, I don't succeed. I want to convert the document to a Word document and start redlining it. I can't help myself.

Most indie authors (myself included) don't make enough money at this to pay someone to edit our work. Editors are not going to do it for free. Proofreading is hard work. It's time consuming, and (if you're a writer) it takes time away from the thing you love most: creating new content.

On the one hand, I hate the fact that standards for accuracy in writing at all levels are being lowered. (I have even found myself using "Internet abbreviations" in my emails at work -- egads!!)  I've found typos in almost every p-book I've read for the last few years. I regularly find typos in business letters and  professional online content.

I'm an unapologetic grammar snob. I think that grammar, punctuation and spelling matter. When I have difficulty with a complicated sentence, I occasionally sit down and diagram it, in the old-fashioned way that my mother (but not my English teachers) taught me. I think that accuracy of expression is important.

But, sometimes a story is so compelling and so well-told, despite spelling, punctuation and other "technical" problems, I just can't put it down.

Does that make it less worthy a story?

I think not.

Give me a story that keeps me up all night reading  (even if I quibble about the spelling and formatting) over a story with perfect grammar and not one typo that bores me.

Please!!

On letting characters emerge gradually

When I ponder the question with my too-organized, control-freak right brain, I think that it is better to outline a story before starting to write it. Work out some of the backstory. Build the characters. Figure out a little of the plot. I think I should work all that stuff out before I begin to write the first draft. Sometimes I do that. I have written several novels based on a pretty solid outline -- that changed as the characters emerged, and almost always end differently than I originally envisioned.

But, most of the time, I get an idea for a story or a character and I just sit down and start writing. The first draft meanders around something awful, but I immerse myself in the story world and I get acquainted with the characters as they reveal themselves to me. I gradually tighten up the story line once I know the actual trajectory of the story. Then I go back, add detail and polish the writing in the second through the seventh drafts.

I enjoy editing (did I mention I'm nuts?), but I love rooting around in that first draft, looking for the nuggets of interesting character and potential conflicts! I usually don't do a lot of drafting over the summer. I'm making an exception this year.  The working title is Miss Loretta's Pies and Whatnot.  Miss Loretta owns a bakery in Sevierville, Tennessee, and she bakes a mean pecan pie. She's also an MIT grad who specializes in computer security.  She has some issues with fitting in a small Southern town. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.

Working Hard and Hardly Working

Lately, I've been working very hard at a lot of things, other than writing. My day job is crazy. I've been busy with some social activities (busy, for me anyway). I've had some technical computer issues, which has required hours of work, but I think I have it straightened out now.

Summertime at the beach is not the time for writing 50,000 words a month. That happens in the fall and winter. In the summer, I'm going to edit my two almost-finished works in progress, and read a lot. Probably not as much as last summer, but as much as I can. I hope to post some reviews soon.

Still, I'm inspired to get at least one of these two novels published over the summer.

Spring Fever at the Beach

I have been doing battle with my Muse for the last couple of weeks. I don't know why I do that. I always lose.

She's feeling lazy these days, which means I'm not in the mood to write. I want to be in the mood to write! The last two novels I drafted came out practically whole, and I had such fun writing them, I want to do it again! I feel ready to go again.  My Muse, however, is not ready.  She's checked out.

I've made some progress towards finishing a story I started several years ago and abandoned because I couldn't figure out how to end it. I came up with an idea recently and resumed work on it. The working title is  Sisters,  a story about a group of elderly nuns who sue the Catholic Church over its failure to care for them in their old age. I think it has some real promise, but it's been like dragging a sled uphill to make myself work on it. I've even slept through my alarm clock three times in the last two weeks. When I'm really in the flow, I wake up at 4:30 AM without the alarm.

What's up with that?

It could be that the story sucks. That's always a possibility, but I've written enough novels by now to know that they all seem to really stink at the 75%-finished stage. I don't think this one is worse than any other first draft, and it involves some really interesting characters whom I don't want to abandon. The plot may be a little out there, but it's not inconceivable (at least the Pope won't jump off the top of the dome of St. Peter's!), and the characters are quirky and interesting. I'm not ready to give up on it. I just don't want to work on it right now.

I think the more likely explanation is that I'm trying to force myself into an unnatural writing groove.  It's springtime at the beach. It has finally warmed up after a long, cold (for us) winter.  Last year I took the summer off from writing to be "on vacation" at the beach. I thought that was a one-time thing because of all of the personal stuff I was dealing with last year. I'm beginning to think that my Muse is as much of a beach-lover as I am. Neither of us wants to be cooped up in the house writing when there are miles of beautiful beaches across the street.

I don't want to take the summer off completely like I did last year. I really do want to write something every day and try to publish two e-books a year.  Maybe instead of aiming for an average of 1000 words a day, I'll shoot for half that over the summer. That will let the Muse rest up for NaNoWriMo in the fall.

Perhaps I've been overworking the poor dear. I promise to be nicer to her. Then maybe she'll be more cooperative with me.

Keeping all the plates in the air - or not

Lately I've been thinking about the technology of writing. The writing blogs both laud and lament the fact that everybody under the sun is self-publishing e-books, because they can. I think that's a good thing.  Yes, it means there's a lot of crap being published. (But, there always was crap that somehow made it through the traditional publishing gauntlet.)  It also means that some really good stuff may get published that might not otherwise have become available. Mainly it means that there are a lot of decent-if-not-great stories available to those who would like to read them. I think that's a good thing.

I wrote my first novel long-hand, on random pads of paper, mostly during my lunch hours over a period of about two years. I have never typed it. It's in an expandable folder in my "special box".  I haven't had the nerve to look at it in years. I'm sure it's dreadful, but I remember how excited I was to have finished drafting a novel with a beginning, a middle and and ending.

Now, I compose on a Netbook. When I'm really in the zone, I can turn out 60,000 words in a month. I back up my work to an online site. I revise as I go, and then revise and revise and revise for at least five or six drafts. I never print anything. (I don't even own a printer.) I publish in various digital formats online. I'm a totally digital kind of gal. My writing, like most of the rest of the important stuff about me, is in the cloud.

I can write a lot faster composing at the computer. Editing is a breeze as well. Self-publishing e-books is quick, convenient and free. I love it.

Sometimes I wonder if I've lost something by going totally digital.  My writer's voice is different when I write long-hand than when I compose at the keyboard. I have been thinking about drafting my next story long-hand, and then editing it after typing it into the computer.

What do you think?  Do you compose on paper or at the computer?  Is there a difference in the quality of the output?

Falling in Love Again

From time to time, Real Life interrupts my Writing Life, demanding my full attention and preventing me from spending as much time as I would like with imaginary people and made-up stories. I hate when that happens.

But, as much as I wish it were otherwise, I do have to function at least at some base level in the Real World. I have to make a living.  I have to attend to the necessary chores of housekeeping.  I have to be a good citizen of my community. Once in a while I actually have social engagements. Occasionally those duties distract me from writing fiction.

When that happens, I become anxious and even more neurotic than usual, but I have learned to put my head down, do the necessary to deal with what must be done, in order to get back to "the good stuff"  --  writing stories.

I don't like to be side-tracked from my animating passion, but periods of abstinence from writing have one beneficial side effect: when they are over, they allow me to become a writer again. (In the words of the beautiful Jewish prayer: "to begin again in love.") After a period of dealing with some "real" issues of my own during the first quarter of this year, I have come back to writing fiction with renewed enthusiasm for the process.

While I was side-tracked from writing any new content, I did manage to do some editing.  I published Hell In Texas on Smashwords.  I did a second and third draft of Second Chances. That now has to rest a while before I can do the final edits before publishing it, hopefully over the summer.

Now, I'm ready to start a new project. I am so excited!  I love embarking on a new story. I can't wait to meet the characters and to enjoy pondering the endless possibilities for plot and setting.  Every time I start a new project it is as though I am falling in love with the process of writing all over again. I can barely wait to get started.

No more distractions!

Finding Characters

I'm not sure where my stories come from, but I have a pretty good idea generally how my characters develop.  I have always been an observer.  I prefer to sit on the sidelines and watch people wherever I go. As I observe the people around me, I try to think of where they might be from and where they are going. I make up stories about how they are related to one another and what their jobs are.

Interesting-looking people catch my eye and I try not to stare while I try to memorize their features for later reference. I must have thousands of "interesting-people" characteristics floating around in my mind.  Occasionally some of those interesting-looking things congregate and a new character emerges from my subconscious.  Most of the time I start describing the character and jotting down back story for some time before I know the character's name.  In my first draft of my current WIP, I didn't know the main character's name until she introduced herself to another character in what started out to be Chapter 3.

Most of my characters end up to be aggregates of a constellation of physical and personality traits that I have collected over the years from watching people.  For each principal character, I build in some aspect of my personality for a touch of realism and so I can better identify with the character.

After writing more than a dozen novels, I've found it interesting to notice that there are certain physical traits, I especially like to use.  I have always liked red hair -- except for that ugly purplish henna-colored hair.   Several of my favorite characters have red hair.  I like curly, wild hair. Several of my characters have seriously uncontrollable curly hair. I like tall men who are in good shape, but but I do not like bulging muscles. Virtually all of my characters (male and female) characters are in good shape from running or other "cardio" exercises as opposed to body building.  All of my male characters are  tall. Most of my female characters are tall, too, with a couple of notable exceptions.  I like blue eyes.  Most of my characters have blue eyes, except for one who has very striking green eyes.  The male protagonist in my current WIP (working title Second Chances) has brown eyes which I keep wanting to change, but the female protagonist really loves his doe eyes, so I have resisted changing the color to avoid upsetting her. (She has enough problems without me screwing around with her man.)

I love watching people do quirky things.  I try to give each of my principal characters one unique quirk: getting up early; serious coffee habit; aversion to meat; passion for music or certain kinds of food or dancing.

The exact process of how all these various body parts and personality quirks aggregate themselves into characters who are as real to me as actual people is still a mystery, and I hope it stays that way.  I like to think of it as the the Magic of my Muse.

Writing about Violence

I do not like graphic violence in books or movies, but we live in a violent world, and sometimes the subject matter of a novel demands a certain level of violence. Recently, in the process of drafting a story that was supposed to be about a ship-board romance on a cruise, the story took a sudden turn when hijackers seized the ship and, instead of spending the rest of the cruise having sex on the balcony, which was their original plan, the main characters found themselves in a shootout with a bunch of well-armed terrorists. I didn't see that coming any more than my main characters!

Instead of a kind of contemporary bodice ripper, the story turned into a fight for survival, on a couple of levels.

The novel itself still falls into the genre of Romance, but it has more action than any story I had previously attempted. I was surprised by how much fun it was to write. I may take a shot at an action adventure sometime in the near future!

Who knew that writing about shooting people could be so much fun?   

Writing about Sex

Seven years ago, when I first got serious about writing fiction, I told my daughter I was writing a novel. She was a young teenager at the time. She said she thought that was neat, but then she made a kind of horrified face and said, “You don't write about sex and stuff, do you?!” My daughter's reaction had an impact on my writing. I wrote just about every one of my first dozen or so novels, censoring myself through the eyes of my “Inner Daughter.”

My actual daughter hasn't read any of my stories. As far as I know she's never even looked at this blog. What is more, she's no longer a teenager. Recent events have dictated that I step across the line I have drawn for myself.

In writing the first draft of a story, the working title of which is Second Chances, I discovered early on that this one was going to require more sex than anything I've written before. The main character is a very sexy lady and she would not allow me to censor that aspect of her character. I learned some things in the process of struggling to express her sensuality.

First, even without my Inner Daughter's censorship, I don't usually like reading graphic descriptions of sex in books. Too often, the sex is brutal and gross. I hate that, even when it is necessary to the story (i.e. the horrible brutality in the Stieg Larsson books), and I generally skim or even skip those passages. I discovered that I really prefer for the author to take me to the bedroom door, close it gently with a wink and let me use my imagination. Unfortunately, I think most contemporary readers are not as prissy as I am, and they demand more than that.

I don't like to write what I wouldn't want to read, so I'm not likely to venture into erotica, but in Second Chances I was dealing with a main character whose sexuality is more important to her than it has been to any of my previous characters. Therefore, the story itself required me to be willing to include more sex than ever before. The sex isn't graphic (I don't think I could write graphic sex scenes), but it's important to the story, so I couldn't avoid it. It was uncomfortable for me to write at first. But, after a while, I realized that it could also be fun, so I sort of let the characters enjoy themselves, with as little intrusion from me (or my Inner Daughter) as I could manage.

The result was a story with two fully rounded human characters, whose sensuality allows them to deal with a crisis by loving each other, at every level.

It was fun to write. It will be interesting to see what happens to it in the revision process. Who knows? I may even kick it up a few notches.

The Movies in My Mind

I have been paying attention to the manner in which I approach writing a novel. I've read articles on writing blogs describing how some writers outline their stories in great detail. Other authors prefer to just sit down, start writing and see what happens. Some writers start with characters and let the plot emerge from the interaction among characters. Others start with a plot and let the characters develop as the story goes along.

At one time or another, I have used each of those techniques. I don't think I have a strong preference. For me, the Story itself dictates how it wants to be written. Some stories, especially those in genres that are new to me, require more planning and outlining. I plotted out Merlin's Daughters before I wrote a word, although the ending turned out to be different than I had planned. The Bev Deller mysteries require a good bit of planning in order to ensure that the ending makes sense, even if it is a surprise. When I am writing a story that is primarily character based, I typically just sit down and start writing, allowing the character to tell me the story. It's interesting that, whether I plan it out or wing it, the endings of every one of the novels I have written have surprised me in one way or another.

I like the sense of order and control I have when I start with an outline and a character sketches with backstory for the main characters. That sense of control usually only lasts until the story takes off and the characters take over, at which point I discover that I'm not in control at all. The Story reveals itself. I just write it down.

One thing that is common to all my story ideas: they play out in my head like a movie as I write. I watch what is happening, and write it down. Sometimes it is murky and dark and I have to struggle to figure out what is going on, as if the Story itself doesn't know what it wants to do. Writing those parts is tentative and, often, those parts end up getting cut later. Nevertheless, struggling through difficult passages slows me down enough to offer the Story the time it needs to develop. More often than not, that becomes a point where the story moves in some new and unexpected direction, or morphs into a totally different genre. Other times, the Story knows exactly where it wants to go and it plays out in my head almost in real time. When that happens, I often have a hard time keeping up with it.

That is when writing is fun. The excitement of writing a story that races across the page and grows from a mere idea into a fully fleshed out first draft is the principal reason I live my life the way I do.

First Draft: In the Flow

I recently wrote the entire first draft of a novel -- almost 60,000 words -- in three weeks. I wanted to take a break from writing Bev Deller mysteries and felt inclined to write a romance or love story. I ended up with an action-adventure/romance that popped out whole.  I could barely type fast enough to keep up, as the story played out in my head.

The story started out to be about a widow who goes on a cruise alone and meets a man. For the first few chapters, it looked like a straight up shipboard romance that might get a little frisky but would otherwise be along the lines of some of the other things I've written (e.g. A Home for Two). But then the hijackers took over the ship, and the story took me for a real ride, both externally with action (guns and explosives) and internally as the main characters engage in a fight for the life of the protagonist.

Writing this story was a thrill ride for me. There is more narrative than in any of my stories, and a lot more action. There's also more sex and violence, which I don't especially care for, but they are both essential to the story that wanted to be told. The first draft is complete. It will go on the shelf for a while until it's ready for editing. I don't know what will happen to it in the editing process, but I can honestly say I had a total blast writing it!

The working title is Second Chances. Here's the prologue:

Virginia stood on the roof of the lifeboat with her rifle pointed at the top deck of the cruise ship sitting dead in the water. As if in slow motion, she heard shots, saw several passengers fall and then the screaming started again. She focused on the place where the passengers fell, and waited. Then she saw the tip of a gun being waved in the air. The man holding the gun turned slightly toward her, and she shot him. She didn't think she killed him, but at least he fell and dropped his gun. She hoped one of the passengers would have the presence of mind to hide it or throw it overboard.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and she shifted her aim to her left. One of the hijackers was standing near the railing aiming a rifle at her. She shot him in the head. The next instant, she felt the slug hit her. Her hands clasped her chest. She tried to call his name. Nothing came out of her mouth but a gurgling noise – and blood.

Update on projects

I decided to sit out ABNA this year.  I have a couple of novels that I thought might be good candidates, but I am in the throes of drafting a love story, and I didn't want to take the time out to prepare a project for ABNA.  I love the concept of ABNA.  Frankly, I hope that someday events like ABNA and sites like Authonomy will become the way books that do get published in print are discovered.

In the meantime, my creative juices are at flood stage, and I need to go with the flow.  I recently had a 20,000 word week!

I'm beginning to see a bit of pattern for my writing life.  I am very productive from January through April or May. It's cold in the winter and the days are still short in the spring.  I write prolifically during this time. Summer is play time for me! I spend every spare moment walking the beach and worshiping the sun, thinking up story ideas. I get serious about writing again in the fall when the days begin to grow shorter, the time changes and it's too chilly to play at the beach. I like to take time off from Thanksgiving until the New Year when my day job is at its busiest.

I can draft one novel in the spring (January/February) and one in the fall (NaNoWriMo).  The rest of the year is editing time.

That strikes me as a very good annual rhythm. If I can draft two and edit two novels a year,  I'll feel good about my life as a writer, whether I sell many copies or not.

On Being Inspired and Intimidated

I wrote my first romance novel because I read a positively awful formula romance novel by a famous author, and said to myself, "I can write at least as well as that!" Just to make sure, I sat down and did it. I haven't been translated into a dozen languages or earned a jillion dollars in royalties, but a few people who read Marianne's Vacation wrote to say they enjoyed it. That means a lot to me.

Recently I read a couple of books back-to-back that had almost the opposite effect. Each in its own way, was so exquisite I found myself tempted to give up writing because I could never approach that level of excellence. Having reflected on it, I've decided not to quit writing. I may not be a great literary writer, but some people who read my books like them and I enjoy the process of writing. That more than suffices to make it worth persevering.

What is more – and somewhat surprising to me –, I have discovered that I appreciate reading other authors' work more for having struggled with my own. I love to savor how writers get through the tricky parts of their novels. I like to pay attention to the things that other writers do well in order to learn from them. It makes me hopeful that the next time I am faced with a writing hurdle, I may feel more equipped to deal with it. I appreciate reading more because I've been there and done that, and I know how hard it is.  Perhaps that is why truly great writing knocks me out.

In any case, I am resolved not to allow myself to be intimidated by great writing. I will, instead, be inspired by it, learn from it, and continue to muddle along spinning my own stories in my own way – and having a great time.