Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Too Much New Material!

These days it feels as though my psyche is screaming "NO MAS!!"  I wrote recently that the personal trauma I've been undergoing will turn up in my fiction. I'm sure it will, but I'm building up so much material I'm afraid I won't remember it all when the time comes to finally write it down. Some running notes for future reference:

I feel a little like Rumpelstiltskin.  The last time I was responsible for my finances (several decades ago), I had to sit down every month and balance my checkbook (which I always screwed up at one point during the month because I cannot do math). I wrote out checks and mailed them once a month when I got paid.  I had a ton of bills because I had a purse full of credit cards.

In my new life, I have my recurring bills set up to be paid automatically on given days during the month so they will be received timely according to the due date. (And I don't even have to buy stamps!) My variable bills are also paid on line, after I fill in the amount.  I have very few monthly bills and no credit cards.  When I use my check card, the amount is posted to my account before I get home, so I can keep my checkbook balanced on a daily basis (and I keep my check record on an excel spreadsheet which does the math correctly -- that is, when I don't screw up the formulas). Technology really is a wonderful thing!

The first time I bought a car, my uncle went with me and did all the talking. When I leased the car I drive now, my husband did the talking.  Recently, I leased a car for my daughter to drive.  She and I did the talking together, and we actually got a good deal. I'm totally freaked out at the prospect of being responsible for a lease on two cars at this point in my life, but I had rejected all the other alternatives. 

The upside of waking from a long sleep (bordering on psychic hibernation) is my delight in my new-found ability to handle simple things that others take for granted. I find myself marveling at ordinary things like the check card, the pay-at-the-pump gas pump (I wish we'd had those when now-driving daughter was a baby!) and all the amazing things my cell phone can do (many of which I have not figured out how to operate, but it's cool the apps are there). 

I'm spending a lot of time freaking out, but I'm also dreaming dreams and making plans for what I want to do with my money and my time going forward.

It's generally cool, but, coming up into clean air so suddenly and dramatically has resulted in a case of the emotional "bends".  I must decompress.



  1. You are stronger than you imagine...

  2. You seem like you are kicking ass! I know some days must suck but it is awesome to hear about the ones that are going well for you.

  3. Thanks for your support and affirmations. You're right. There are days that kind of suck and I have episodes of weeping, but most of the time I amaze myself at how "ok" I am.