Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Too Much New Material!

These days it feels as though my psyche is screaming "NO MAS!!"  I wrote recently that the personal trauma I've been undergoing will turn up in my fiction. I'm sure it will, but I'm building up so much material I'm afraid I won't remember it all when the time comes to finally write it down. Some running notes for future reference:

I feel a little like Rumpelstiltskin.  The last time I was responsible for my finances (several decades ago), I had to sit down every month and balance my checkbook (which I always screwed up at one point during the month because I cannot do math). I wrote out checks and mailed them once a month when I got paid.  I had a ton of bills because I had a purse full of credit cards.

In my new life, I have my recurring bills set up to be paid automatically on given days during the month so they will be received timely according to the due date. (And I don't even have to buy stamps!) My variable bills are also paid on line, after I fill in the amount.  I have very few monthly bills and no credit cards.  When I use my check card, the amount is posted to my account before I get home, so I can keep my checkbook balanced on a daily basis (and I keep my check record on an excel spreadsheet which does the math correctly -- that is, when I don't screw up the formulas). Technology really is a wonderful thing!

The first time I bought a car, my uncle went with me and did all the talking. When I leased the car I drive now, my husband did the talking.  Recently, I leased a car for my daughter to drive.  She and I did the talking together, and we actually got a good deal. I'm totally freaked out at the prospect of being responsible for a lease on two cars at this point in my life, but I had rejected all the other alternatives. 

The upside of waking from a long sleep (bordering on psychic hibernation) is my delight in my new-found ability to handle simple things that others take for granted. I find myself marveling at ordinary things like the check card, the pay-at-the-pump gas pump (I wish we'd had those when now-driving daughter was a baby!) and all the amazing things my cell phone can do (many of which I have not figured out how to operate, but it's cool the apps are there). 

I'm spending a lot of time freaking out, but I'm also dreaming dreams and making plans for what I want to do with my money and my time going forward.

It's generally cool, but, coming up into clean air so suddenly and dramatically has resulted in a case of the emotional "bends".  I must decompress.

Meredith

3 comments:

  1. You are stronger than you imagine...

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  2. You seem like you are kicking ass! I know some days must suck but it is awesome to hear about the ones that are going well for you.

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  3. Thanks for your support and affirmations. You're right. There are days that kind of suck and I have episodes of weeping, but most of the time I amaze myself at how "ok" I am.

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